Archive for the Humor Category

Here’s your sign

Posted in Humor with tags , , , , , , on October 12, 2020 by macmystery
sign(4)

Oh … you KNOW it’s happened before.

I don’t know if this is real or not, so I won’t make fun of any specific group. But …

You know they only make a sign like this because it’s happened before, right? You’ll think about it the next time you’re in a hotel elevator.

Henry Damn Kissinger!

Posted in History, Humor, Politics with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 11, 2019 by macmystery

HenryKissinger

Henry Kissinger once dated Murphy Brown.

I took the Jeopardy online test tonight. This marks the third year in a row I’ve taken the test in an effort to compete on the show.

I wish I could say I felt like I was progressing. The first time I took it was a disaster. Last year was better, but obviously not good enough to move on to the second step in the process.

This time, I feel like I may have gotten half of the questions. I just can’t see that being good enough.

Each year, there have been questions I knew the answer to that I have failed to get the correct response typed in the 15 seconds provided for each of the 50 questions. And I know I have just dropped the ball on questions.

Tonight, I simply could not remember Henry Kissinger’s name. I knew he was the answer. I could see his face. But the name was a blank.

So as a response, as I often do when I miss a question at trivia or don’t know something for some reason, I spent some time reading about Mr. Kissinger.

Most of it is and was old hat for me.

He was a German-born Jewish refugee who fled to the United States with his family when Hitler took power. Harvard educated. Advisor to Lyndon B. Johnson. Secretary of State for both Richard M. Nixon and Gerald Ford. Crafted détente with China. Supported coup in Chile. Supported Pakistan in Bangladesh war despite genocide. Won 1973 Nobel Prize for peace  process in Vietnam. Still alive.

But as I was reading about Kissinger on the wonderful World Wide Web, there were three facts I had never known that I found quite interesting.

  1. In his younger years, Kissinger was quite a ladies man before marrying. Among his celebrity girlfriends was Candice Bergen. That’s right, … Henry Kissinger dated Murphy Brown.
  2. After being drafted into the U.S. Army in 1943, Kissinger completed his basic military training at Camp Croft in Spartanburg, S.C. This fact may not be stunning for most, but I lived in Spartanburg for 15 years. Camp Croft was an important U.S. Army training post in World War II that has not existed for decades. It is gone. There are no remains. It’s a state park, and if you’ve been there, you’d be hard-pressed to prove thee was a military base there. I’m always a little surprised anytime I find out someone did their basic training there.
  3. And last but not least, in 1976, Kissinger became the first honorary member of the Harlem Globetrotters. An obvious choice, I think. If you had Kissinger in the pool, enjoy the spoils.

And that’s all I’ve got. I mean, it’s Henry Kissinger.

The words matter, Donald …

Posted in Humor, Music, Politics, Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on June 6, 2018 by macmystery

Just for Donald Trump, since he doesn’t seem to come close to knowing them, here are the lyrics for Irving Berlin’s song God Bless America:

God bless America, land that I love,
Stand beside her and guide her
Through the night with a light from above.
From the mountains, to the prairies,
To the oceans white with foam,
God bless America,
My home sweet home.

While the storm clouds gather far across the sea,
Let us swear allegiance to a land that’s free.
Let us all be grateful for a land so fair,
As we raise our voices in a solemn prayer:

God bless America, land that I love,
Stand beside her and guide her
Through the night with a light from above.
From the mountains, to the prairies,
To the oceans white with foam,
God bless America,
My home sweet home.
God bless America,
My home sweet home.

It would seem as though Mr. USA Patriotism would have this down by now.

“She’s a special kind of stupid”

Posted in Humor, Politics with tags , , , , , , , , , , on November 24, 2010 by macmystery

Sarah Palin obviously can't see Korea from her house.

I can’t claim that quote about Sarah Palin. An acquaintance of mine introduced me to it. But it’s so fitting, I had to borrow it.

On nutjob Glenn Beck’s radio show, commenting on the recent violence between north and South Korea, Palin said we should stand beside our North Korean allies. The only-slightly-smarter-than-her host corrected her.

“This speaks to a bigger picture here that certainly scares me in terms of our national security policy,” she says. “But obviously we’ve gotta stand with our North Korean allies.”

“South Korean allies,” Beck says.

Here’s a link to the audio.

Couldn’t she have just written this down on her hand?

Seriously? Ignorance must be bliss.

Go ahead run for president. Split the right wing vote and guarantee Obama another four years. I dare you.