
Not all it's cracked up to be.
UPDATE: Pepsi re-releases Throwback drinks, with a correct formula this time. See All hail the Throwback.
OK, it’s been quite a while since I posted anything, so to mark my return, I’ve decided to tackle a tough topic, but one I dearly love.
Mountain Dew.
You can see this is going to be a bear.
Growing up near Atlanta, when it comes to soft drinks, I’ve always been a Coca-Cola guy.
Hands down.
Pepsi sucks.
In fact, I once won a bet by proving to a less-soft drink educated fellow than I that I could discern between Coke and Pepsi simply from the smell alone. But that’s for another time …
But for quite some time, if I’m drinking a mass-produced, over-sweetened, caffeine-loaded soft drink that’s not a Coke, odds are highly favorable that it’s Mountain Dew.
In fact, I’m enjoying some as I type this post.
Well, back in March, PepsiCo introduced “Throwback” versions of both Pepsi and Mountain Dew. I’ve no idea what the Pepsi version tastes like and I likely never will. But from the moment I became aware of this new Mountain Dew product, it was only a matter of when, not if, I would partake.
According to PepsiCo’s propaganda, the primary difference between the current version of Mountain Dew and the retro “Throwback,” besides the use of the old logo on the packaging, is the fact that retro version is made with real sugar instead of corn syrup.
Soft drink companies began moving to corn syrup in the 1980s, beginning with Coca-Cola’s marketing-ploy-disguised-as-PR-nightmare move from Coca-Cola to “New Coke” to Coca-Cola Classic, which is what we now know as Coke. For those too young to remember that fiasco, it’s all explained here. But the basic theme is that Coke used the ultimate cola shell game to move from sugar to the much cheaper corn syrup.
Now virtually all soft drinks are made with corn syrup, excluding some smaller independent brands and a few instances of bottling companies with grandfathered bottling agreements with the big companies that allow them to continue making their products with sugar.
If you’ve ever visited a Mast General Store in North Carolina or the Upstate of South Carolina, you’ll find all of their glass-bottled drinks (excluding Coke) are bottled using real sugar instead of corn syrup.
Some people have speculated that our nation’s shift to corn syrup over sugar over the past 20-plus years is partially responsible for some common health problems (obesity, childhood diabetes, etc.) I don’t think this has been proven, but it doesn’t sound entirely ridiculous to me.
Sorry, I’ve rambled. The point, besides a little background, is that these drinks like the ones at the Mast stores that are made with sugar DO taste different. Maybe even better. So I wanted to try the Mountain Dew.
So a couple of weeks ago, while on vacation in the mountains of Tennessee, I bought some Mountain Dew Throwback.
What a complete and utter disappointment. The difference between sugar and corn syrup is actually pretty easy to detect. The sugar has a different kind of sweet that’s hard to describe. I believe it’s sweeter. But it was obvious from the start that the Throwback edition of Dew was quite punchless. I noticed it, but thought maybe it was me.
But eventually, I determined there was a legitimate weakness there, and I began to peruse the ingredients on the side of the can.
A-Ha! It was right there in green and white.
Most people never look at the ingredients on the side of their soft-drink cans. In fact, I usually wish I didn’t know what was in there. But I only had to get down to the third-most plentiful ingredient in the two versions of Mountain Dew to see what the problem was.
Aside from carbonated water and high fructose corn syrup, the next most plentiful ingredient in Mountain Dew is … orange juice. Most people don’t know that. After that is citric acid.
Imagine … a citrus soft drink with real citrus in it. That’s preposterous.
But if you look at the Throwback label, it goes from carbonated water and sugar (instead of corn syrup) straight to the citric acid.
No orange juice.
At all.
Zero.
A first, I had simply been disappointed that a version of one of my favorite beverages with real sugar instead of corn syrup was so crappy.
But now I wonder if this isn’t the beginning of a New Coke-like marketing ploy, instead. Maybe Pepsi is trying to play a shell game and eliminate expensive orange juice from Dew’s formula without the average customer knowing.
So I guess I kinda had two points I wanted to establish …
1. Mountain Dew Throwback sucks. An indisputable fact.
2. When a major American corporation promotes a product that is supposed to give you something that you could only get in years gone by, it’s probably valid to ask what else they’re taking away from you while you aren’t looking.
By the way … Midnight Oil has given way to Joni Mitchell. Both respectable musically, but Joni’s easier on the eyes. But not too much.