Archive for the Humor Category

Random stuff: Someone liked my gas

Posted in History, Humor, Music, Odd, Politics with tags , , , , , , , , on January 2, 2009 by macmystery

Yesterday, New Year’s Eve, before Brooke went to work in the morning, she told me there were four pork chops in the refrigerator thawing.

“Cook them anyway you want to,” she said, “and eat one for lunch. You can take another to work for dinner and leave two for us.”

So, after feeding Ella lunch, I took my pork chops, which I had lovingly marinated in Italian dressing, outside to toss them on the grill.

I reached down to crank on the gas … and there was none. I mean none as in someone had stolen the entire tank right off my grill that sits right next to my house.

I think I was a little too shocked to even be angry. I was just flabergasted.

Brooke was more surprised than me when I told her about it. I grilled on Christlas Eve, so someone took the tank in the last week.

I’d like to think someone needed it really badly. For heat. Or money. Or because they had no electricity and needed to cook. But I doubt it. Likely some no good loser (like maybe my neighbor’s adult slacker son … can I say that?) who wants to save the money of buying his or her own tank.

So I guess we’ll refrain from grilling for a while, untile we get a new tank.

By the way, the pork chops were excellent baked.

Thank you, Mr. Pell

Former Democratic Rhode Island senator Claiborne Pell died New Year’s Day at the age of 90 after a long bout with Parkinson’s Disease.

Among Pell’s accomplishments was the Basic Educational Opportunity Grant program, which passed in 1972 and provided direct aid to college students … better known to you and I as Pell Grants.

Millions of low- and middle-income Americans (including this one) were assisted in attending college because of Pell’s grants.

I, for one, would like to say thanks to Mr. Pell and say a prayer for him and his family.

Sharing gas (and other bodily functions) with the ones you love

I came across this story today about how different couples/families are open … or not so open … with each other when it comes to normally private bodily functions.

Enjoy.

“You and me, babe, how about it?”

The radio station I got hooked on this past summer in Reno, Nev., — KTHX 100.1 FM, The X — just played the Indigo Girls’ version of Dire Straits’ “Romeo and Juliet.”

That never happens.

Never.

First time I’ve ever heard it on the radio anywhere.

Remember they said it

MSNBC.com has put together a wrap-up of the five dumbest things said about the economy in the past two years by political and financial leaders.

Interesting.

Beware wooden toilet seats

Posted in Humor, Odd with tags , , on December 29, 2008 by macmystery
Unbeknownst to many young boys, a silent killer lurks in many homes.

Unbeknownst to many young boys, a silent killer lurks in many homes.

Read this.

 It’s pretty funny.

 Then again, it’s really not.

Palin a “post turtle”

Posted in Humor, Politics with tags on October 6, 2008 by macmystery

My friend Carey passed this Sarah Palin funny to my wife, among others.

Enjoy.

While suturing a cut on the hand of a 75-year-old Texas rancher whose hand was caught in a gate while working cattle, the doctor struck up a conversation with the old man. Eventually the topic got around to Sarah Palin and her bid to be a heartbeat away from being president.

The old rancher said, “Well, ya know, Palin is a post turtle.”

Not being familiar with the term, the doctor asked him what a post turtle was.

The old rancher said, “When you’re driving down a country road and you come across a fence post with a turtle balanced on the top, that’s a post turtle.”

The old rancher saw a puzzled look on the doctor’s face, so he continued to explain, ” You know she didn’t get up there by herself, she doesn’t belong up there, she doesn’t know what to do while she is up there and you just wonder what kind of dumb ass put here up there to begin with.